Day By Day
by cokesuicide
Summary: -COMPLETE- With a broken heart, Rin leaves Sesshoumaru. Two years later her heart has mended to let another in. But where is Sesshoumaru? (SessRin) (Please R&R)
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha...or Sesshoumaru.

Day By Day

* * *

Rin walked up to Sesshoumaru's study with an ultimatum in hand. She wanted to give it to him ever since their fight the other day, but waited for him to cool down. "Why are you here?" a voice called from behind the door. "There is something I have to say. Can I talk to you?"  
"I suppose you can." She heard him coming to the door slowly.  
As she waited for him to come to the door she practiced in her head what she was going to say to him. She tried to say the same thing, but each time she seemed to leave important facts out.  
_ 'This is going to be harder than I thought. I should have just stayed quiet and let him come to me like all the other times.'_ She heard him stop right before the door. _'But this isn't going to be like the other times. I'm through with it!'_ Her hands curled up into balls on the side of her body. She sighed heavily as the last step to the door was heard. The door slid opened, "Hello Rin. Come on in." Sesshoumaru held out his arm, in what she took as an obnoxious gesture, towards the room.  
"Stop that. I should be the one that gets to be obnoxious, not you," Rin said as she walked into his huge study.  
"Won't you sit down?" he asked, showing no emotion.  
"No. I just wanted to say that I will not be someone you can walk all over anymore. You have to tell me: Do you love me or not?"  
Only the birds answered with their cheerful melody.  
"It doesn't take more than a minute to say if you do or not! I'm not waiting here one more second!" shouted Rin. She looked in his eyes hoping to see what he was thinking. When she couldn't see anything she walked past him, her hair and her spring colored kimono brushing his arm as she went.  
_ 'I guess there is no such thing as love in this world,'_ Rin concluded as she slammed the door and ran down the hall. She ran out of the castle into the garden just as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

------------------------------  
  
_'I guess I am not supposed to have the love of Sesshoumaru. I thought that he wanted me. I should just leave. I can't stay here any longer.'_ Rin picked a flower from the garden and smelled it. _'This almost smells like him after his bath.'_ She chuckled. _'I'll take a couple to remind me of him for a little bit. Just enough to feel all right for a few days after I leave.'  
_ She walked back into the castle and up the stairs to her room. She picked up the brush that he gave her. It was pure silver and had her name engraved on it. She smiled. It was a present from him for her sixteenth birthday. It made her hair feel like the finest of silks. 'I_ should take it. I can use it for money.'_ Then she picked up the bracelet he gave her for her eighteenth birthday. This was also silver, but this had small pearls placed in the band.  
She remembered that birthday..._She was talking about how she wanted to go out and see some things by herself. She was eighteen after all. She was an adult. He let her go to the village for the day and then they would go out for a week patrolling the boarders together. In the village she sensed she was being followed. She turned around and there he was with the bracelet. She let him put it on her and she jumped into his arms and hugged him as the villagers watched, horrified. Then, she took his face in her hands and kissed his cheek, then hugged him again. She was so happy that he gave her something this beautiful. The second time she swore he hugged her back..._  
"I will leave these here. I don't need these memories anymore," she said to no one. She took some kimonos from the shelf beside the table that held her bracelet. She put them in a small sack with her brush. She turned around still closing the bag and started to walk out of the room when she ran into Sesshoumaru.  
"Hey!" she yelled as she started to look up. "Oh, it's you. How long have you been standing here?!"  
"Long enough," said Sesshoumaru. "So, you are leaving."  
"Yes," she answered his statement. "I am going to the village and I am going to take my horse. So, if you would please move out of my way I will be leaving now."  
He stepped out of her path as she walked by. "You should take the bracelet, even though you do not want it. It will bring you money."  
She turned around and looked into his eyes, "I want you to keep it to remind yourself how you let me slip through your fingers." She turned back and walked out of the room and to the stables.  
She sighed after she got on her horse and looked back at the front of the castle. _'I know I hurt him, but I can't stand to be hurt myself. Not anymore. I've been waiting too long for him. I need something he cannot give me.'_ She looked up to his balcony. She saw him looking out over the land._ 'He's watching me go.'_ She took her hand and kissed it then blew it toward his direction with a wish. _'Find someone and never let her go.'_ She turned the horse towards the village and rode off.

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"I think I've done pretty well for myself here, Tomo," Rin said as she talked to her horse outside of her small hut. "I have a job fixing kimonos for Wakaba. I have made some friends and I think Kohaku loves me." She smiled. "Things are looking up for me."  
She gave Tomo a kiss and patted her side before she walked off to go back into her hut with the vegetables she picked out of her garden. She started to fix her dinner as she thought about Sesshoumaru.  
_'I heard him growl as I rode off, but he never followed me. I thought he would. It's been two years though. I guess he has gotten on with his life. But it's not like I am that far. I didn't go to the village by the castle, but I know he could have found me by my scent. I still pick those flowers that smell like him. I know I'm supposed to hate him, but I don't want to forget the man who was my protector, my friend, my first love. He brought me back to life. I will always feel connected to him, but I had to leave...'_  
"Hey," he said.  
"AAAHHH!!" she screamed and turned around as her heart raced. "What are you doing??"  
"I came to see if you wanted to come with me to see the fireworks. The village celebration is ending today."  
"I forgot about that." She smiled towards Kohaku. "Do you want to eat dinner with me?"  
His lips formed in a sly grin. "Only if you come with me to see the fireworks."  
"All right!" she said happily.  
They ate while talking about tonight and Rin forgot all about Sesshoumaru for the time being. They finished cleaning up and walked to the hill right outside of the village to see the fireworks clearly.  
"Hey Rin, Kohaku!" yelled Sango and Miroku. "Come over here. We have the best seats!" They motioned the couple to sit near them and their three children.  
"That's ok. We will sit right here," yelled Kohaku back at his sister and brother-in-law.  
"Why didn't you want to sit with them?" Rin asked as her cheeks started to become flushed because she knew what his answer would be.  
"Because I wanted to be alone with you," he said as he took her hand and led her to the spot where they were going to sit. They sat down and she noticed that Kohaku's hand was starting to shake.  
"Are you all right?"  
"Yes. I just have something I want to tell you."  
"Oh." Rin's cheeks started to redden again.  
"Rin," he paused to catch his breath, "I love you and I want to marry you."  
"Oh," was all Rin could say.  
They sat in silence as the fireworks started. She didn't want to look at the fireworks and from what she could see, he didn't either. She decided to make the move and show him how she felt. She leaned and kissed him on his lips as a one of the fireworks lighted the sky behind them. After the kiss she leaned towards his ear and said "Yes, I love you too." For the rest of the fireworks show they sat with their arms around each other.  
Kohaku walked her back to her hut and gave her a small goodnight kiss on her forehead. As she walked into her hut she started thinking about how her life was going to be.  
_'I finally have someone who loves me. I can't wait until we have children. I bet they will be beautiful.'_ Her thoughts ran through her head a mile a minute until she came to him. _'Sesshoumaru.'_ She suddenly felt light headed and sat down on her bed. _'I wonder what he thinks of this. Why should I care? He didn't love me and if he did he let me go and never came after me. It's been two years. I can't believe I still think about him. I know he was with me all those years, but he abandoned me. He let me think he was in love with me and then abandoned me. Or maybe it was just me. I thought he was in love with me. But he hugged me back that one time. And that other time I thought he was going to kiss me, but then Jaken came in and he left. But he isn't that kind of person, actually, demon. He doesn't show emotion. But I still saw it. I saw it in his eyes. He showed his emotion for me there. I always knew where to look.'_ She fell into a restless sleep still thinking about her two lovers.

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_"RIN!!!" Sesshoumaru screamed.  
She ran up to his body. "Sesshoumaru!!! Don't die on me!!" She knelt by his side and laid her head on his chest and heard his labored breathing. She started to shake uncontrollably with her sobs. "I love you!!! I have always loved you!!"  
Rin could feel Sesshoumaru take his right hand and stoke her head. She took a hold of his hand and wrapped it around her. She felt comfortable at that moment; even though she knew he was going to die.  
"Rin?"  
"Hmmm?"  
"I'm sorry I never told you until now that I love you."  
"That ok." She moved his arm off of her as she moved towards his head. "I love you too." She smiled and kissed the crescent shaped marking on his forehead. Then she stood up and walked away._

_----------------------------------  
_  
Rin woke up that morning in a cold sweat with the dream on her mind. _'What does it mean?'_ she thought as she got dressed.  
After eating some breakfast she walked to Wakaba's. _'At least work will get my mind off of it,'_ she thought as she stepped into the hut.  
She didn't make it out of the doorway when Wakaba showed her the most beautiful kimono she had ever seen.  
"What is this for?" Rin asked as she felt the pink and white kimono.  
"For you, silly!" she gleamed.  
"Huh?"  
"To wear for your wedding! As soon as I heard about it I knew this was the dress for you." She turned around to put it back into the closet. "I hope you don't mind that it has been worn before."  
"I don't mind. It's so beautiful," Rin said as she walked into the hut. "Where did you get it?"  
"Some demon came across here when you were away with Kohaku and the others a year ago and dropped it off."  
"Did the demon say why she didn't want it anymore?"  
"HE said that it belongs to someone, but she didn't want it anymore."  
"That's strange," Rin said as she started to pick up her supplies from under the sewing table.  
"Yeah," Wakaba said as she sat down at her sewing table. "He didn't even want any money for it. Although he looked like he didn't need the money."  
"Huh," Rin said as she started to sew up a kimono that Kagome brought in the other day.

-----------------  
  
As Wakaba went home for her lunch, Rin decided she wanted to see how her wedding kimono looked on her. She walked over to the closet it was in and picked it up. She found a mirror and looked at herself with it draped over her.  
"I look beautiful," she said.  
"Yes you do."  
"AAAHHH!!" she screamed as she turned around, almost falling over. "Don't do that!"  
"I was just admiring you, my love," said Kohaku in the door way in the corner of the room.  
"Well, next time do it less quietly," she laughed.  
Kohaku walked over to her and motioned her to try it on.  
"OK." Rin smiled and walked into the little dressing room. "I never thought that we would be getting married. You were so different this time I met you."  
"That's because I am. I am glad you came here, Rin." She could see him look at her table and the red kimono she was fixing.  
"Kohaku," Rin said letting him know she was ready for him to see her.  
"Rin," he breathed. "It's beautiful. You're beautiful."  
Rin stood with a smile from ear to ear. She watched Kohaku walk towards her and give her a kiss.  
"RIN!" They we startled out of the kiss. "KOHAKU!"  
They both looked at the doorway where Wakaba was standing. "What?" they asked simultaneously.  
"I was just surprised, that's all," she laughed.  
Rin smiled then turned around to get out of the kimono. She walked into the dressing room and looked at herself in the full length mirror that was in there. _'I do look beautiful and I can't wait until I wear this and marry my love.'_ After she smiled at the thought of them getting married she started to take off the kimono.  
She stopped as a smell filtered in her nose. _'That smell. The flowers. Sesshoumaru.'_ She thought she felt her heart stop. _'He knows where I am? How come he came when I wasn't here? Did he know? Did he come here when I was gone on purpose? Why did he want to give me this? He had to have known it was going to come to me. I don't understand.'  
_ "Rin, let's get some lunch now," Kohaku called, pulling her out of her thoughts.  
She promptly dressed and walked out to meet him asking Wakaba, "The demon who gave this to you, what did he look like?"  
"It's been a while. I don't think I can remember," she answered as Kohaku looked dumbfounded.  
"Please, remember. Was he wearing a white haori and a metal breastplate with spikes over it? Did he have silver hair? Did he have markings on his face? Was one of them a crescent shape? Was he wearing a fluffy...a fluffy...thing on his right side? Was his left arm missing?" she asked Wakaba, not stopping for a single breath.  
"Well, he was missing an arm. I remember that and his markings. There was a crescent one on his forehead. And there was an annoying green demon with him also," Wakaba answered.  
"Rin?" Kokaku asked with a hint of concern in his voice.  
"Kohaku. That was Sesshoumaru. He gave this to Wakaba. He was here."  
"How did you know that?"  
"The smell. It smells like those flowers I always pick to put in my hut. It's his smell."  
"Oh." Rin could see a small sparkle move from his eyes.  
"Kohaku? I'm sorry." She looked down at the floor. _'I'm stupid! Here I am gushing over Sesshoumaru when Kohaku is right here! I love Kohaku. Sesshoumaru is nothing but a distant memory!'  
_ She didn't notice that he walked over to her until he grabbed her chin gently and made her look at him. "It's ok. He was a part of your past."  
"And you are my future."  
He smiled, "And so are you." He let go of her chin. "Now, let's get something to eat!"  
She put the kimono away and then joined him at the door, taking his hand as he led her to his hut.

--------------------  
  
_ "You looked beautiful, Rin."  
"Thank you, Sesshoumaru."  
"You should be with me." "What!" she yelled, "You didn't want to see me when you came to give this to me! I should NOT be with you! You don't even know how I feel about you!"  
"Yes I do," he said. "You love me and I love you."  
"Then why did you let me marry him?"  
"Because you need to be happy and that cannot happen when you are with me."  
"I can. All you have to do is love me! I left because you didn't!" She started to cry.  
"I am sorry, Rin."_

_---------------------------------------------------------  
_  
"Rin. Are you all right?" Kohaku asked trying to wake her.  
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" she said opening her eyes to see her husband's face.  
"You were crying."  
She lifted her hand and felt her cheek. It was wet. "I'm sorry. I had a bad dream. It's all right." She smiled, sat up, and kissed him. "I think I will go bathe in the river this morning."  
"All right. Do you want company?" he smiled slyly.  
_ 'Not really,'_ she thought. "Sure."  
They walked to the river. It was a silent walk as she contemplated the dream. _'This is a bad dream. I am making him a more emotional person. That is what I wanted him to be. That is not who he is. Kohaku is who I want. We are husband and wife. We were married yesterday. We love each other. Stop thinking about Sesshoumaru!'  
_ "Come on, Rin!" he called for her to join him.  
She walked into the river slowly. It was warm from the afternoon sun. "I can't believe we slept in all morning," she said as she walked slowly towards Kohaku.  
"I can," he winked. "I can't believe we've been together for a couple of weeks."  
"Huh?" she asked. "We were married yesterday!"  
"I know, but I started counting when you told me yes." He leaned in and kissed her.  
She kissed back. _'This is what I want.'  
_ After being in the river for a couple hours, Rin spoke up. "I think we should get back. It's starting to get dark. We should make some dinner."  
"I guess you're right," he said, unwilling to leave the river.  
"Oh, I see. You don't like my cooking," she said in a fake pout.  
"I never said that!" Kohaku said being very defensive as he unknowingly walked out of the river.  
"I know. I was just trying to get out of the river." She pointed at his feet and then laughed at him.  
"I'll get you for that!" he said as he started to chase her.  
"You won't get far wearing nothing at all!" she laughed hysterically as he quickly put on the robe he brought.  
He returned to chasing Rin. He caught up with her and picked her up bridal style and kissed her passionately on the lips. They walked all the way home like that.  
As Rin waited for dinner that Kohaku insisted he make she fell asleep.

-----------------------  
  
_ "Rin!"  
"Kohaku!"  
She looked for him, but he wasn't there. She thought she heard his voice.  
Sango and Kirara came appeared from the darkness, but she still couldn't see him.  
Kirara moved to show her as Sango explained, "The demon was coming...he got the demon...and the demon got him...he died on the spot..."  
"KOHAKU!!!" She rushed to pull him off Kirara. He was too heavy for her and he ended up falling to the ground with a loud thud. She turned him over and looked at his face. It was splattered with the blood that came from his stomach. The wound there looked like someone was trying to scoop out his insides with his scythes. She kissed his cold lips then laid on top of him and cried.  
"Kohaku! I wish you wouldn't have gone!! It's all my fault! I should have kept you here. Then you would still be alive!!"  
  
_--------------------  
  
"Rin? Are you sleeping? Do you want some dinner?" asked Kohaku.  
"I dozed off. I guess I've had a long day." She smiled.  
"Here. Have some soup." He handed her the bowl.  
"This is great!" She said after she took a sip.  
"Thank you." He kissed her cheek and walked over to get his own bowl and sat down beside her. "What were you dreaming? I heard you call my name."  
"Oh. I was just dreaming about you and me," she said.  
"I hope it was nice."  
"Not as nice a real life." She smiled at him and put down her bowl.  
"Are you all right?"  
She nodded and leaned over to kiss him.  
"Ah," he whispered. He and Rin walked into their bedroom, hand in hand.

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_ 'I can't wait! Only four more months! Hurry!'_ Rin thought as she washed their clothes in the river.  
"Rin! Rin!" called Kohaku.  
"I'm right here," she called back as she stood up slowly.  
"Be careful." He helped her up. "If anything happened to you or the baby I would never forgive myself."  
"I'm not going to die from standing up," she said sarcastically.  
He opened his mouth as if to say something, but decided against it and kissed her belly instead.  
Rin played with his hair as he told the unborn child, "I love you, my boy."  
"Hey! How do you know it's not a girl!" she said as she put her fists on the side of her hips.  
"I know these things," he said with a wink before kissing Rin. "Anyway, I have to go kill a demon in a village about a half a day from here. Sango and I shouldn't be too long. We will be back in about a couple of days. If you need anything go to Miroku or Kagome." He paused. "I take that back. Go to Kagome."  
She laughed. "All right." She gave him another kiss goodbye then watched him walk back into the village.  
She walked back to their hut with the laundry a few minutes later. She hoped to see him one last time before he left, but she was too late. _'I just wanted to say I love you. Oh well, I'll say it when he gets back.'_ She sighed as she hung up the clothes to dry in the back. _'I smell the flowers. I'll pick some for the house after this. It's been a long time since I thought about you Sesshoumaru. I hope everything has been working out for you as well as it has been for me.'_ After she was done with the laundry she walked towards the flowers and picked a bunch and brought them to their hut. She let out a yawn and decided she should take a nap. _'I wonder why he's late,'_ she thought as she stood outside of their hut, waiting for him. _'He said he'd be back by now and he always keeps his word.'  
_ Rin closed her eyes in anticipation. She opened them again only to see Sango and the fully grown Kirara. _'Where is Kohaku?'_ She started to walk towards them, but something in her told her to run.  
"Sango! Where is Kohaku?!" she yelled.  
"There...he...I...Rin," was all she could sputter.  
She didn't need to ask anymore. She saw her husband lying on the back of Kirara. She ran up to the cat and tried to get him off. He was too heavy for her so he just fell to the ground on his side with a loud thump. _'That thump. I've heard that before.'_ And then it hit her. _'My dream!'  
_ She knelt down as fast as she could and turned him onto his back. She screamed.  
"I will get Kagome," said Sango and she ran to get the miko from another era.  
Rin nodded then started to wipe the blood from his face with her kimono's sleeve.  
He groaned and opened his eyes. "Rin."  
"You are hurt, Kohaku. Don't talk." She placed a finger over his lips. Her eyes wandered to his stomach to see the same wound he had in her dream.  
"You should see the other guy," he laughed, but stopped when he started to cough.  
Rin watched as fresh blood flowed from his mouth. "I told you. Don't talk." She wiped the blood from his mouth.  
"I just want to say one last thing before I..." He started coughing again.  
Tears rolled down Rin's cheeks as she saw her husband dying. "You are going to be fine. Kagome is coming. Please don't talk like that."  
"I love you, Rin. Please don't ever forget me." He lifted his left hand and rested it on her stomach. She put her hand on top of his to hold it there. "Don't give your mother a hard time." She smiled through the tears as he brought his hand to her cheek. She leaned down and kissed his lips for the last time.  
The taste of his blood made her shiver. "I love you too, Kohaku."  
It seemed like he was waiting just for her to say that. His hand went limp and fell to the ground.  
She screamed and laid over his bloody body and cried.  
She heard Kagome come running as a crowed of people started to gather.  
"Get her off of him and take her away!" Kagome yelled.  
"Rin. You have to come with me. Rin," said Sango in her calmest voice possible as she helped her get up and took her away from his body.  
"I don't want to leave him. I..don't..." The sight of Kohaku was getting to her and she fell back to her knees and threw up.  
"Sango! Get Miroku and Inuyasha!" yelled Kagome.  
Rin knew what that meant. He was dead. Inuyasha was needed to move his body from the middle of town and Miroku to pray for his soul. She stood up. Everything around her was spinning and everyone's voice became muffled. The only thing she could do was cry, cry for the one she loved.

* * *

If I have mistakes please let me know. I tried to fix everything I could when I uploaded the document, but sometimes they're sneaky. 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha...

Day By Day

* * *

_'Kohaku. Only two more months. Our baby will be here in two more months. I can't wait. I hope you are excited. If I wasn't carrying our child I would be with you. I miss you so much, but I know I have to be strong for the child inside me. I come here everyday; I haven't missed one. I love you. I should have told you though. Everyday I think that I should have told you about my dream. I knew this was going to happen and I didn't tell you or try to stop you. I'm sorry. I picked these flowers for you. I hope you like them.'_   
Rin said a little prayer then turned around to walk back to the village. She noticed someone else's footsteps behind her. She quickened her pace. The steps quickened theirs. She started to get scared.   
_'Who is following me? Why is this person following me?'_ she thought as she once again quickened her pace.   
Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. "AAAHHHH!!!"   
"Rin."   
"Kohaku?" she asked even though she knew that wasn't his voice. But he was the only person that would scare her like.   
"Turn around Rin." She turned around and looked into a man's amber eyes.   
"Sesshoumaru."   
"Rin. I knew you smelled different."   
"Oh," was all she could say in this awkward moment. She stared into his eyes. They were full of sadness, love, and hope. She noticed those eyes because they were hers. He turned around to leave the continuing awkward moment.   
"Wait." She grabbed onto the sleeve of his haori. He stopped. "Do you want to see where I live?"   
"I have to get back."   
"Another time, I guess," she said letting go of him. "Will I see you again?"   
"I do not know, Rin," he said as he walked away.

--------------------------------  
  
"I have one more month, Kagome."  
"Yes, but they can come early. Remember when Uki was born?"  
"Yeah. She was born a couple of weeks early. I don't think this one will though. He doesn't want to leave."  
"How do you know it's a he?" asked Kagome as she picked up the dishes.  
"Kohaku told me before he died," she said simply.  
"Oh."  
"I don't think you should have trusted my brother. He never knew what he was talking about," Sango laughed.  
"I believe him," said Rin looking up with her eyes.  
"Rin?" A man's voice interrupted the women.  
She stood up and walked towards the door. "Sesshoumaru." Rin noticed the villagers staring at this demon that looked similar to Inuyasha. "You can come inside."  
"Thank you, but all wanted to do was bring you this." He handed her a blue silk baby blanket.  
"Thank you, Sesshoumaru." She went to hug him. She noticed that he was about to pull away, but decided against it. She moved her arms around him and she felt him do the same. 'Just like before.'  
"I should be going."  
"Wait. Please stay." Rin looked up at him, pleading for him to stay. 'All I want is someone here with me. I know Sango and Kagome look out for me, but they have their own lives. They don't need to be bothered with me also.'  
Almost as if he was reading her mind he said, "I will stay until nightfall."  
She smiled her signature smile. She hadn't let herself make one of those unless she was at Kohaku's grave.  
"Sesshoumaru," said Kagome and Sango simultaneously as he and Rin walked back into the hut. He just nodded.  
"He said he would stay until nightfall. Isn't that nice?" she smiled.  
After an hour Kagome and Sango left to go back to their families and they were left alone. Rin noticed him staring at the flowers on the table.  
"I pick them for their smell." She started to blush. "They smell like you."  
His demeanor didn't change as he acknowledged her statement.  
She continued, "I never stopped thinking about you. I fell in love with Kohaku. I got married in the kimono you gave me. I became pregnant. I watched him die. Through all of that I never forgot you. I always thought that you would follow me and take me back right away. I was surprise to know that you came that one day with the kimono; more surprised that you didn't want to see me. I still loved you and I felt bad for Kohaku. I think he knew it too, but we formed a happy life. We would still be happy if a demon didn't kill him. One man I love has been take away from me, please don't let another one leave me too." She moved towards Sesshoumaru and lifted her right hand to his left cheek.  
Rin watched him as he moved is hand to hers and held it for a moment before taking it off. "Nightfall has come. I must take my leave."  
She nodded. She knew that he had to leave, but her tears came anyway. He took the back of his index finger and wiped them off the top of her cheeks.  
"If you want me to, I will come back tomorrow," he said. Rin nodded in between her sniffles.  
"Then I will." Rin watched him move gracefully out of the hut. '_I wonder if I should tell him about my dreams,'_ she thought and then laughed. _'I would scare him off.'_

_---------------------------------------_  
  
Rin was out in her garden as she waited for Sesshoumaru. _'I wonder if he will eat. He never ate around me. Maybe this time I can get him to.'_ She smiled as she thought about what they might do today.  
"Hey, Rin!" shouted Kagome as she walked towards Rin while waving her hand above her head. "What are you doing today?!"  
"I'm waiting for Sesshoumaru," she smiled.  
Rin looked at Kagome. Her face seemed disappointed about something. "Rin. I don't think it's right for him to come."  
"Why? I haven't felt this happy or safe since," she paused to take a deep breath, "since Kohaku died. Why can't I have it?"  
"Because it's not right," Kagome said outright. "You shouldn't be hanging out with a demon that kicked you out."  
"I wasn't kicked out! I left him because..." her voice trailed off.  
"Because of what?! I bet it was because he wasn't being very nice towards you!"  
"NO! Don't talk about him that way! He was very nice to me! He bought me things and kept me in his castle! He brought me back from the dead!"  
"If he was so nice then why didn't you stay?! You left him!"  
Rin looked at the ground so Kagome couldn't see her eyes. "I left him because I loved him."  
She looked back up at Kagome to see that her angry expression became a surprised one. "What?"  
"I loved him. I still love him. I know he does too."  
"What about Kohaku?"  
"I loved him too. Kohaku knew about me and Sesshoumaru and he still loved me." Rin smiled as her thoughts brought her back to the nights they laid on the hill outside of the village and looked at the stars and just talked.  
"Rin?" Kagome said breaking her away from her lovely daydream. "Do you still love Kohaku?"  
"Yes. I talk to him everyday. He knows. Everytime I am there I feel his presence beside me. I feel him holding me every night to help me fall asleep. Like I said, I love him."  
"You said you loved him. There is a difference."  
"I love him and I love Sesshoumaru, all right! Since I can't be with my Kohaku anymore..."  
"You will be by your Sesshoumaru," Kagome interrupted.  
"It's not like that!"  
"Yes it is! Like I said before, I think it's best that you stopped seeing Sesshoumaru. You can't be chasing after him with a baby."  
"I will not chase him. I haven't been the one going to him, if you have noticed. He's been coming to me. He's been coming ever since I came here!"  
"If he has, then why didn't he take you back?"  
"He wants me to be happy! He knows he couldn't give me the same thing Kohaku did! He wanted to see me happy with him! He bought me the kimono I wore at my wedding!"  
She saw Kagome's eyes widen before she said, "He gave that to you? How do you know?"  
"I smelled him on it. Wakaba said that he brought it when we all went to the one village by the ocean a year or so ago. She told me she was going to sell it to someone, but decided it fit me better, so she kept it."  
"So he didn't actually buy it for you for your wedding."  
"No, but he knew it was going to get to me. I think he would have been happy to see me wear it then." Then Rin remembered the baby blanket. "And he gave me the blanket!"  
"What blanket?" Kagome asked with a puzzled look on her face.  
"The blue silk baby blanket! You were there when he came!"  
"I remember him being there because he wasn't that comfortable to be sitting on the floor with us. He looked like he was too good to be sitting there. I do not remember the blanket."  
Rin turned around saying, "I'll show it to you."  
"Rin. You don't need to," she said stopping her. "I can't argue with you anymore. It isn't good for the baby. Besides, I have to get back to my place. I'm supposed to see some people today."  
"Fine." She stood there watching Kagome's every step until she lost sight of her in the crowd of people.  
_'Why is she so upset with me? I have the right to love whom ever I choose. I can love Sesshoumaru and I can love Kohaku._' She felt the baby kick and she rested her hand on her belly. _'I can't wait until you are finally here. I can't wait to tell you all about your father.'_ She began to cry as she walked into her hut to continue to wait for Sesshoumaru to come.

---------------------------  
  
"Sesshoumaru!" Rin screamed as she jolted from her nap. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it was going to pop out of her chest.  
"Something's wrong." She said to no one as she got up to look out of the door. The sun was starting to set in the distance. "He wouldn't lie to me. Something is wrong."  
Rin walked out and towards the woods. _'I will stop and see Kohaku and then look for Sesshoumaru.'_  
It took her longer than usual to get to him because she was still shaking from the dream she had. She stood at the foot of his grave as she did many times since his death and cried. _'I love you Kohaku. I don't know when I will be back. There is something I have to do.'_ She kissed the air and turned towards the forest. _'I am going to find you, Sesshoumaru. I don't know where you are, but I WILL find you.'_

_-----------------------------------  
_  
The sky was becoming red as the night sky started to engulf the sun. '_I'm getting tired. Why can't I find you? I'm taking the path that you would be taking. What happened to you?'_ Rin thought as she started to slow down.  
"Where are you Sesshoumaru?!" she weakly shouted to the top of the trees.  
"Rin?" She heard a voice coming from the trees.  
"Sesshoumaru? Where are you, Sesshoumaru?" She looked around, but couldn't find him.  
"I'm behind the trees to your left."  
She was confused how he knew that, but she walked over there anyway. She first saw his white fluffy boa coming from behind the tree.  
"Sesshoumaru!" She ran to see all of him. She knew something was wrong because he didn't sit this early and this close to a path. She closed her eyes as she whipped herself around to face him. When she opened them she saw him leaning against a tree with a weak expression on his face and dried blood on his neck. She fell to her knees and crawled up to his right side.  
"Be careful, Rin."  
She was about to asked why when she suddenly realized she was pregnant. _'I'm sorry, my child,'_ she thought as moved to sit on her knees.  
"What happened? Are you all right? Can I get you anything? I can get Kagome to help you," Rin spitted out.  
"All I need to do is rest for until the sun comes up."  
"I'm so sorry," she cried into his boa. "It's my fault."  
"How is this your fault?" he asked stroking the top of her head. "I was the one who let my guard down."  
"It was my fault you let your guard down. You shouldn't even be here. You came because I asked you to." She looked up at him. "It's my fault because I love you!"  
"Rin. It was my own fault. I let my emotions get the best of me."  
"Because of me."  
"Rin!" he growled then softened his voice. "It was not because of you."  
She turned and slowly moved herself onto her bottom and leaned on him. He let out a groan. "I'm sorry," she said as she quickly sat back up.  
"It was not you," he lied. "Put your head back."  
Rin went back into her former position and looked towards the top of the trees. "This reminds me of when we first met." He grunted. "Thank you."  
"What did I do?" he asked.  
"You saved me. I wouldn't be here if you didn't." She moved her head so she looked at the left side of his face from below. "Thank you."  
"Tenseiga wanted me to save you and so I did. You should not thank me." He didn't look down at Rin, but she could see the expression in his eyes change.  
_'Is he crying?'_ she thought as he moved his arm around her to reach for something in his haori, under his breastplate. He pulled out a silver bracelet with pearls in the band.  
"I want you to have this back," he said as he moved it towards her hand to put it on her.  
She looked back up to him. This time he was looking back at her as if he wanted to say more. Rin smiled and moved closer to his face and kissed his cheek. "I know."

---------------------------------------  
  
Rin woke up early in the morning with a groan. _'I hate this part of having a baby,'_ she thought as she tried to get up. She opened her eyes wondering why she couldn't get up. _'Oh, he is still holding on to me.'_ She tried to move is arm from her, but each time she tried his arm got tighter and tighter around her.  
She nudged him. "Sesshoumaru." He groaned. "Sesshoumaru. I have to go. I'm not feeling well." He let her move his arm from her and she went off.  
When she came back she saw that he had gotten up off the ground. "Come with me and I will clean you off." She walked back towards the village as he straggled behind. She stopped, turned around, and went back to get his hand. She could feel him tense up at first, but became comfortable as they got closer to the village.  
"Keh! Sesshoumaru is holding a human woman's hand?" scoffed Inuyasha as they walked by him.  
Rin noticed him let go. She looked up. "Don't worry." Then put her hand back in his.  
She noticed this gave him a boost in his confidence when he growled noticeably at his half brother. Rin smirked when she saw the surprise in Inuyasha's face.  
"Rin!" yelled Sango.  
"Sango," she closed her eyes and nodded. When she opened them her sister-in-law was looking at Sesshoumaru in shock. "I am going to get some things and we are going to go bathe in the river."  
"Rin," Rin saw her look at their hands. "What is going on?"  
"I just told you. Please excuse us." She directed him around Sango and walked to her hut.  
  
"I know Kohaku was a little shorter, but I think this robe might fit." She held it up to Sesshoumaru. "Put it on." She gave him the robe and went into her room to change into hers.  
She walked out to see him in Kohaku's robe. She laughed as she looked at him standing in the robe that came to his knees and stretching to fit over his chest. "I guess you are bigger than him also."  
They walked to the river the way they walked into town. They stopped on the bank of the river. _'I guess neither of us wants to get into the river together,'_ she thought.  
"I do not think the Lord of the Western Lands should be naked, bathing with a human woman in a river," Sesshoumaru spoke up.  
"You need to be cleaned," she stated. "I can sit here with my eyes closed while you bathe and then you can do the same when I bathe."  
"That is not an option for a Lord."  
"This is all we have. It's not a rich village," she said looking at the river. "Either you clean with me in the river or not. I want to be clean." She paused. "I'm going in now."  
Rin walked to the boulder that was by the river and walked behind it. She took off her robe and walked in. When the river was covering her she turned around to see that Sesshoumaru was not standing there anymore. "Sesshoumaru? Where are you?"  
"I'm right here," he said startling her.  
"I thought you were too good for a river?" she asked jokingly.  
"You said I needed to be cleaned and this was all that you had. I decided that I should be clean," he said not getting the joke.  
Rin laughed. "I guess that's right." She felt the baby kick in delight. "Oh! That sort of tickled."  
"What did?" he asked looking attentively at her.  
"The baby kicked. You can feel it," she said taking is hand and making him walk close to her. She put his hand on her stomach and smiled as the baby kicked again. She looked up at his face. His usual stern eyes had become glazed with happiness. '_I wonder how he can feel that way towards a child that isn't his; a human child.'  
_ "Rin." She was snapped back to reality by Sesshoumaru calling her name. She was going to answer, but a sharp pain came from her abdomen and she cried out in pain. "Rin?" Sesshoumaru called, but this time with worry.  
"A sharp pain...It hurts...Kagome...Need Kagome..." she said as her breathing became labored. She looked up at him. His eyes had turned from happiness to horror as he helped her to her robe. She waited for him to get into Kohaku's robe as she held onto the rock. Her knuckles turned white as she screamed again. She squeezed her eyes shut hoping the pain would go away. She felt the pain leave for a bit and opened her eyes as Sesshoumaru picked her up the best he could with his one arm.  
"Where is this Kagome?" he asked running towards the village.  
"Sesshoumaru," she breathed.  
"Where is she, Rin?" he asked again with concern.  
"Over there." She pointed to a bigger hut just two huts down before she screamed. Rin saw some of the villagers looking up in confusion and others looking at her with concern.  
"Kagome!" he growled as he neared the hut. Rin watched as Kagome ran out shocked.  
"What did you do to her!" she yelled.  
"I did not do anything to hurt my Rin," he roared.  
_'My Rin? Sesshoumaru?,'_ she thought as the voices started to fade away.

------------------------------------  
  
The pain was almost unbearable. Rin had regained consciousness only to be told that she was going into labor. _'At least nothing is wrong with the baby,'_ she thought as she was told to sit up and squat over a ceramic basin.  
"Where is Sesshoumaru?" she asked as she squatted with the help of Kagome.  
"He is outside, Rin. You need to focus on your baby right now," she answered becoming a little perturbed.  
"I want him to come here. I need him. I.." she stopped to scream loudly as she naturally pushed the baby down. "I need my Sesshoumaru," she yelled loud so he could hear it.  
"He will not come in, Rin. I will not allow it. I know you can feel that the baby is almost out. Don't give up!"  
"I'm not going to give up! AAAHHHH!!!" She pushed with the last of her strength. A few seconds later she heard the sound she was waiting for since she found out she was pregnant.  
"Rin, It's a boy," said Kagome with a smile as she brought him over to Rin who had been helped to the bed.  
Rin looked as this new baby in her arms. She started to cry as she brought her head down to kiss his little forehead. 'He looks like Kohaku.'  
"What time is it?" she asked remembering that she didn't go to his grave yet today.  
"It's the middle of the night. You were in labor for about sixteen hours."  
"Sixteen hours? I missed it?!"  
"Missed what?"  
"I didn't go to Kohaku's grave yesterday! I missed a day! I've never missed a day!" cried Rin hysterically.  
"I think he understands," explained Kagome trying to calm her. "What are you going to name him?"  
"I think I will name him Kohaku, for his father." She smiled.  
"I think that name is perfect. He looks so much like him." Kagome smiled back. "It's time for you to get some sleep." She reached for Kohaku, but Rin moved him out of the way.  
"I want to see Sesshoumaru. I want him to see Kohaku," she said in a low voice.  
"I'll go get him."  
A minute later Sesshoumaru came into the room and immediately stepped back.  
"I'm sorry for the smell, Sesshoumaru," she looked down towards Kohaku.  
"It is all right, Rin," he said as he walked back into the room.  
"This is Kohaku," she said looking up at him with a loving smile.  
He knelt down on one knee and looked back at her. "He is nice."  
"Do you want to hold him?" she asked handing Kohaku over to him so he couldn't refuse.  
"I...um..." was all he could sputter out as she put the little baby in his arm.  
"I've never seen you struggle for words before," she smiled. She could see that his eyes were filled with love as he looked at Kohaku who was sleeping. "Sesshoumaru, your eyes," she said almost questioning. "I don't understand?"  
He looked at her. "I don't understand either. This is a human child, yet I feel a connection to it."  
"It's because you love me, my Sesshoumaru," she explained as she started to realize what was happening.  
"That may be so. Please, take him back," he said. She could tell he was still confused about his emotions.  
She decided to go for it as she was taking Kohaku back in her arms. "I heard you say 'my Rin' when you brought me here. Did you mean that?"  
He looked stunned. _'He wasn't expecting me to ask that,'_ she thought.  
She could hear him take a deep breath before he started to answer. "Yes I did."  
"Why didn't you come after me? How come you did come? How come you gave me the kimono? Why..." He stopped her by putting his index finger over her mouth.  
"I could not give you what you wanted, so I had to let you go. After that nothing made me happy. I went out. I tried not to follow your scent, but every time I went out I was drawn to this village. I saw you laughing. I saw you being happy. I saw how that man looked at you. I knew he was in love with you. I decided to come into the village and give that kimono to the lady knowing she would give it to you. I learned of your marriage and I stopped coming. I had to pass this village one day and I smelled for you. Your smell was different and I knew. I knew about that man's death also. I knew you were hurting so I brought myself to talk to you. I did, but it brought back so many memories I wanted to forget so I did not come back. After trying hard to make those memories leave my mind I decided it was futile. That is why I came back. I wanted to keep those memories and have more, even if the feelings were different. That night in the forest I knew you still felt the same. I decided then that I want to spend time with you again."  
Rin lifted her right arm and held it to his left cheek. "Sesshoumaru." She smiled "Thank you." She yawned.  
He stood up. "Let me take him to that woman. Get some sleep, Rin." He took little Kohaku and walked out of the room.  
She closed her eyes. _'Oh, Kohaku. I'm sorry. I love you with all my heart, but I also love Sesshoumaru. I'm so sorry. I will never forget you. I will teach out son everything about you. You two look so much alike. I hope Sesshoumaru will like him. I know he's your son, but I want him to have a father figure. Sesshoumaru is nice and will protect him. I love you, Kohaku. I miss you everyday. You will never be replaced. You will always have my heart.'_

_-----------------------------  
_  
"_Rin. Wake up, Rin."  
She opened her eyes. "Kohaku?" She looked ahead of her and saw her husband standing in the darkness with his arms open. She ran to him.  
As he gave her a hug he said, "I hear everything you say to me. I understand. I want our son to grow up happy and, if Sesshoumaru can do that, I will let him. I'm sorry I cannot be there for our son, but I will watch over you both. I love you. I will love you as long as you have a part of me in your heart." He let go of her. "Now go, raise Kohaku and always tell him that I love him."  
"I will Kohaku." Rin gave him a kiss then turned around and closed her eyes._

_-------------------------------  
_  
Rin woke up with a smile on her face. "Thank you Kohaku," she said with her eyes closed and the smile still on.  
"Kohaku?" asked Sango.  
"Sango?" Rin asked as she opened her eyes.  
"I came to see how you and the baby were doing. I heard you named him Kohaku. Thank you," Sango said smiling.  
"He looks so much like his father I thought that name was perfect. He liked it too."  
"He did?" questioned Sango with a look of confusing on her face.  
Rin started to sit up slowly. "He talked to me in my dream." She smiled. "You probably think I am crazy."  
"No." She smiled back. "I understand."  
"He's hungry," announced Kagome as she brought in Kohaku and gave him to Rin.  
"Oh," said Rin taking her baby. "Where is Sesshoumaru?"  
"He said he would be back in a couple of days," said Kagome.  
Rin smiled as she started to feed her baby. _'He will be back. He will never leave me again.'_

_------------------------------------  
_  
A couple of days later Rin was working as Kohaku laid on her chest in a cloth carrier.  
"Leave! We do not need any youkai here!" Rin heard and looked up at Wakaba. She nodded and Rin rushed out the hut.  
"Fumio! Please put your sword down! He's with me!"  
He looked over his shoulder to see Rin with her hands on her hips and dropped his sword to his side.  
She looked up at Sesshoumaru who was standing perfectly still. "Sesshoumaru! Come over here. They aren't going to hurt you if they know what's best for them." She noticed it made him uncomfortable to be told what to do, so she smiled her signature smile. "Please?"  
He walk towards her in a dignified manner never taking his eyes of her.  
"Sorry, Sesshoumaru. I didn't mean for it to sound that way," she smiled.  
"That is fine," he said still not taking his eyes off of her.  
At that point Kohaku started to cry. Rin took him out of the carrier and held him in her arms. She started to sing a lullaby to him. Sesshoumaru moved to her left side and took her in his arm. They turned around and walked towards her hut as the villagers watched.  
When they got to her hut she gave him the baby. She could see he was terrified to be holding a small human baby, but she didn't care. They both looked at each other in curiosity. She smiled as she could see Kohaku give up and close his eyes. "I guess you win, Sesshoumaru."  
He looked up and gave her a half smile that made her skin tingle. '_Things are going to be fine.'_

_---------------------------------------  
_  
Sesshoumaru made a low growl and Rin turned around quickly. "What happened?"  
"He pulled my hair," he simply said and looked down to see a child holding onto his leg and looking up at him.  
"He wants you to pick him up."  
"Dada?," Kohaku said looking at her then looking back up at Sesshoumaru.  
"No, that's Sesshoumaru, honey, Sess-sho-ma-ru." She smiled at Sesshoumaru. '_It's been nice having you around, Sesshoumaru,'_ she thought.  
Kohaku looked like he wanted to say something. "Sess-so-momo!" he yelled up at him. Rin laughed.  
"Sesshoumaru. It is Sesshoumaru, kid," Sesshoumaru said as he picked him up.  
"He's only ten months!" Rin said smiling with her hands on her hips. "That's good for him! Let's go outside." She walked over to the two men in her life. "It's a nice day. I'm sure Kohaku wants to play with you."  
"Out! Out! Pay! Pay!" shouted Kohaku with glee. "Pay Momo!"  
"See," Rin said laughing at Sesshoumaru.  
He put Kohaku down to walk over to Rin. She took his right hand as he reached for Sesshoumaru's hand and they walked towards the door. Kohaku let go of her hand as he walked through it with Sesshoumaru. She smiled at the unusual scene folding out in front of her and then walked out behind them.  
"Mama!" Kohaku called for Rin to take his hand again. They walked down the row of huts to the hill where she spent so many nights with her husband.  
She played with Kohaku as Sesshoumaru sat on the ground watching. 'I_ hope this never ends,'_ she thought taking in the smells of the flowers and Sesshoumaru.  
"I'm coming to get you," she taunted Kohaku as he totted away from her. "ARRR."  
"AAAHHH! Mama come! Save Momo!" He ran towards Sesshoumaru.  
Before he got to him, Rin saw something come out of the corner of her eyes and pick him up. She stood up as fast as she said his name. What she saw was a demon with beady black eyes and a green body holding Kohaku upside down, who was screaming in his arms.  
"Let him go!" growled Sesshoumaru.  
"MAMA!!"  
"KOHAKU!!"  
"Why should I let this human go? He means nothing to you." He took one of his claws and ripped it across Kohaku's leg as he screamed.  
Rin stepped forward and put her arms out. "Kohaku!"  
"Do I have to tell you again," roared Sesshoumaru. Rin looked at him. Not only was his voice changing, his eyes were becoming red.  
She noticed the demon was becoming less comfortable as he watched Sesshoumaru's eyes turn. She knew that he was going to drop him any minute and started to run for it.  
It all seemed to be happening in slow motion for her as she started to run towards him, realizing her biggest fears as she watched the demon drop Kohaku and take off. She ran with her arms in front of her, but missed. She watched her baby fall head first onto a sharp rock with an eerie thud. The slow motion stopped as she ran to Kohaku's body and looked around for Sesshoumaru. _'He's not here. He must have chased after the demon. The demon was fast, but I know he is faster. Get him Sesshoumaru and come back fast. Save my son.'_ She looked at Kohaku's lifeless form and screamed. His head was bleeding profusely from the gash at the top of his forehead, flowing down the slope of his nose and over his closed right eye.  
"Kohaku!!! She picked up his head and rested it on her knees after she knelt down. She tore off the sleeve of her kimono and held it tightly over his gash.  
Some of the men from the village heard the commotion and ran to her and Kohaku.  
"Get Kagome! Go! Hurry!" Rin yelled at them. 'Hurry Sesshoumaru. I know you are the only one who can save him.'  
Tears rolled down her cheek as she looked at the sleeve of her kimono soaking up the blood. She took it off and tore off her other sleeve and put it on his head. Someone from the crowd gave her a handkerchief. Instead of wiping her tears she wiped the blood off his face.  
"Rin! What happened?!" Kagome screamed as she pushed through the people to get to her and Kohaku.  
"Kagome! There was a demon! He dropped him." She lifted the sleeve of her kimono off of his head to show her.  
"Rin!" Kagome gasped as she checked to see if he was still alive. Rin looked at Kagome's face in horror. _'He is dead. Now the only one who can really save him is you.'_  
Rin lifted her head to the sky and screamed, "SESSHOUMARU!!!!!"  
"Here he comes," a woman in the crowed yelled.  
She watched as he pushed through the people and knelt beside her. He grabbed onto Tenseiga and Rin noticed as his eyes searched his body.  
He let go of the sword. "Rin." She waved her hand at him as she leaned over her son. He didn't need to say it; He wasn't coming back.  
She screamed into Kohaku's dead body as she heard Sesshoumaru stand up. She looked up to where he was but only saw people getting up off the ground as if they had been pushed. A few seconds later she heard a loud growl in the distance and her heart sank.   
"Sesshoumaru," she whispered.

* * *

Please let me know again...


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha...

Day By Day

* * *

Rin walked through her hut emotionless. It had been a month since her son was brutally taken from her and she still didn't feel like herself.  
"I don't like those things anymore," she said as she picked up the vase the flowers were in. "It's a pity you had do the work to pick them." She threw them against the wooden frame of the doorway to her room. "Don't ever pick them again." She looked up at Sesshoumaru to show him she was serious and then walked to her bedroom.  
"Rin."  
She paused for a moment then continued to walk into her room and over the broken vase, leaving a trail of blood.  
_'I don't want you around Sesshoumaru!'_ she screamed to herself. '_I keep telling you this and you still come. Let me die in peace! I have nothing to live for anymore. I have lost my husband and I have lost my child.'_ She sat down on her bed. _'You killed Kohaku. You could have stayed and saved him. Instead you ran off to kill the demon. You let him die.'_ She lied down and looked toward the doorway. _'I don't want you here. Get out!'_  
She saw him start to clean up the mess she made. She took off the silver bracelet and threw it at him, hitting him on his head. "Get out! I don't want you here anymore! It's all your fault! Just LEAVE!"  
He stood up with the pieces of the vase. She could see he was hurt by her comments. _'Good! He should be!'_ she thought as she closed her eyes. She could hear Sesshoumaru sweeping up the little pieces of the vase. '_Why won't he just leave me alone?!'_

_--------------------------_  
  
"Rin." She could feel someone shaking her awake. "Rin."  
"Leave me alone," she said as she turned over keeping her eyes closed.  
"No. I will not sit back and watch you slowly die anymore," said Sesshoumaru.  
"I have nothing else to live for. I want to die."  
"Get out of bed, Rin." Sesshoumaru turned her around, sat her up, and put her feet on the floor as she kept her eyes shut.  
"Open your eyes, Rin."  
She opened them but kept her head down. She noticed her feet were bandaged. "Who did this?"  
"I did. Stand up Rin."  
She stood up, but kept her head down.  
"Put your head up. Walk with me."  
She lifted her head. "Where are we going?"  
"Home."  
"I am home."  
"This is not your home anymore, my Rin. You are coming back to live with me."  
"I will not! I don't want to live with you! You...You...Killer!" She ran through the stunned crowd to the graves of her loved ones. When she got there she collapsed onto her knees and cried. The smell of her favorite flowers tried to seep through her nose and she cried harder.  
"Rin. It is time to go. You can come back when you are better, but now it is time to leave."  
"No," she said under her breath.  
"What?"  
"You heard me. No." She stood up slowly with her head facing the ground and turned around. Her hands tightened into fists on the side of her body as she looked up at Sesshoumaru and gave him a cold stare. "I don't want to go with someone who killed my child."  
She started to scream as he picked her up and put her on Ah-Un and sat behind her, holding her tightly.  
"Let's go Ah-Un," said Sesshoumaru as she continued to scream obscenities towards him.

----------------------------------  
  
"LET ME GO!" Rin screamed as she kicked the sheets.  
She opened her eyes. _'Where am I?'_ she thought at her eyes focused on the objects in the room. _'I know that table. I remember the feel of this bed. I'm at Sesshoumaru's castle.'_  
"You are up," stated a familiar voice. She looked towards the door and saw a green demon holding a tray with food and tea.  
"Jaken."  
"Sesshoumaru-sama wants you to eat, girl," he said gruffly.  
"I am not a girl," Rin said coldly. "And I don't have to do what he says."  
"You need to eat, Rin," said Sesshoumaru as he walked into her room.  
"I don't have to." She got out of the bed. "I'm going."  
"Where are you going to go, stupid girl?"  
"JAKEN!" roared Sesshoumaru.  
He ran out of the room as he cried, "Sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama."  
Rin started to follow him out of the door, wanting to get away from Sesshoumaru, before he stopped her by grabbing onto her hand.   
"Let...go...of...me," she said with a growl as she ripped her hand from his. She looked into his eyes. "I am going to the bathhouse. Do not follow me."   
Once in the bathhouse, Rin started to think about her life so far. _'My husband is dead. He was killed by a demon. My son is dead. He was killed by a demon. Why? Why does this all have to happen to me? Was it because I was in love with a demon once? Probably. I don't want to be in a demon's castle any longer, especially when that demon killed my son. I wonder...Did he kill my husband too? He probably did. He couldn't see me being happy, so he killed him.'_ She started to breathe deeply as the thoughts of suicide poured in her mind. _'I should make him miserable like he's made me. I can do that now; getting rid of the thing he cares for the most, me. All I have to do is to go under the water and never come up. If I do that I can finally be happy because I will be with my family. That is what I will do. Your mama is coming, Kohaku!'_   
She put her whole body underwater and held onto a notch in the wooden basin. Her tears dissipated in the water as they left her eyes. As she shut them one last time she thought, _'I'm coming home, my love.'  
  
----------------------------  
_  
_"RIN!! RIN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIN?!?!" Kohaku's voice screamed.  
"I'm coming to see you!" she yelled opening her eyes to see his horrified face.  
"This is not the way, Rin! I do not want to see you die!"  
"I don't want to live without you and our son!"  
Kohaku walked over to her and held her in his arms. "This isn't how it's supposed to be. I love you too much to see you do this to yourself. You still have much to live for."  
"What?!" she pushed him away from her. "I still have much to live for?!"  
He nodded. "You have Sesshoumaru to live for. You have your life with him to live for."  
"I don't want him. He means nothing to me. He killed our son. Don't you realize that?" she appealed.  
He stepped towards and embraced her again. "He did not. He wanted to save him. It was just too late. He loved Kohaku as much as we did. He did not want to see him die either."  
She couldn't stand it anymore. She pushed away to free her hand and slapped Kohaku with all her might. "I cannot believe you are taking that demon's side!! I don't know why I wanted to be with you!!"  
He just came closer as she backed away. "Rin. I love you, but I cannot see you do this to yourself. You need to wake up."  
She looked up at him confused as he continued, "Wake up, Rin. Wake up..."   
  
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_  
She opened her eyes to find herself in bed again. She looked to her right side and saw Sesshoumaru facing her. He was sitting in a chair looking at her with intensity.  
"Rin."  
She pulled her hand from his and sat up. "Don't think I owe you anything for saving my life," she said her usual cold tone.  
"Rin."   
She watched him as his eyes drooped with sadness. She remembered the words from Kohaku, _'You have Sesshoumaru to live for.'_ She squeezed her eyes shut to forget about them.   
"Rin."   
"Stop saying my name, youkai!"   
"Get out of bed, Rin."   
She looked up. He had stood up and was holding his hand for her. She batted it out of the way. "I'm not leaving."   
"Rin. Get out of the bed."   
She realized he wasn't going to let her stay so she slowly got out of bed. "Where are we going?"   
"To the garden."   
That was the last place she wanted to be right now. It only reminded her of happy times; happy times she wanted to easily forget. She reluctantly followed him out of the castle and into the garden. She looked up at the beautiful cherry trees that were in blossom. Next, her eyes went to the lovely flowers that lined the path to a bench and beyond.   
"Why did you kill yourself?" Sesshoumaru spoke up, taking her away from the beauty.   
"I succeeded?" He nodded. "If that was my wish, why did you bring me back?"   
"You did not want to," he said walking towards the bench.   
"I DID!!" she screamed watching him stop in his tracks and turn around to face her.   
"That was not your wish. That has never been your wish."   
She ran to him and slapped him so hard that her hand made a red mark over his purple ones. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WISH FOR!!"   
She went to slap him again, but he stopped her by grabbing her wrist. "You have always been happy and content with your life. This is not you, Rin."   
She pulled her hand out of his grip and instead of slapping him she started to hit his chest with her fists. "This is me! This is what you made me! You could have stayed and saved Kohaku! Instead you ran after the demon! I watched him die, Sesshoumaru! I watched my son die just like his father! I hate you!" She stopped hitting him and rested her arms and then her head on his chest as his arm started to wrap around her body, bringing her closer to him. She started to cry, "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."   
She stood there in his arm as her tears started to soak into his white haori. She closed her eyes. She could hear the birds sing their song of love as well as Sesshoumaru's heart beat. She started to cry harder as she realized what she had been saying to him all this time.   
"Do you feel better, my Rin?"   
She looked up at him and nodded. "I don't hate you, my Sesshoumaru. I am sorry for everything I have done to you."   
"There is nothing you should be sorry about. It is I who should be sorry. I should have saved your son and then gone after the demon. It is my fault."   
She looked at his eyes filled with regret. _'He's been feeling the same way as me and I have been making him feel worse by vocalizing his regrets.'_ She continued to look at him as he turned his head to look out over the garden. "It's not your fault. You didn't know. I shouldn't have said all those things to hurt you. Please forgive me."   
"I said it was not your fault."   
"I want you to say you forgive me, Sesshoumaru."   
She was still watching him as he moved his head down and looked at her. "I forgive you."   
She smiled as tears gathered in her eyes again. She stretched up so she could kiss his cheek. "Thank you." She felt his hand leave her back and she stepped away, continuing to watch the opening to his soul. Her eyes became blurry with tears and she closed them letting them drop. While her eyes were still closed she felt a finger gently wipe them away.   
"Do not cry anymore, my love."   
She opened them to see Sesshoumaru looking at her with love. She knew he would never cry, but she thought she saw something fall from the corner of his left eye.   
"I am not crying from pain, but from the love of my Sesshoumaru."

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A couple months later, Rin was still slowly healing with the help and love of Sesshoumaru. She looked at her right wrist and the bracelet that he gave back to her and then at the ground. _'Everything is going to be all right, Kohaku, with the help of my Sesshoumaru. I have laughed. We laughed the other day about our son and what he used to call him. I started to call him that, but I don't think he likes it too much. I brought some of my favorite flowers for both of you. I love you both and I will never forget about the times we had.'_ She kissed the air like always and then stood up. She looked back at Sesshoumaru who had a content look on his face and joy in his eyes. Ah-Un was sleeping behind him. _'I guess I took too long for him.'_ She smiled.  
"Come on," she said taking his hand and walking up to the waking dragon. "Let's go home."

* * *

Once again..... 


End file.
